


Hurting

by Steph_Winchester



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-12
Updated: 2017-12-12
Packaged: 2019-02-14 02:30:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12997863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Steph_Winchester/pseuds/Steph_Winchester
Summary: Dean and Cass are married. They are high School sweethearts, After 20 years together and 5 of those married, one might make the mistake of taking love for granted. You know what they say "you don't know what you had until you loose it"Is it too late?





	1. Happy anniversary to me...

It was their 20th anniversary of getting together. Cass planned a nice dinner at home, cooked Dean's favourites.  
It had taken a lot of planning because it had been a difficult week at the University where Cass was a tenure-track professor . But somehow he had managed to buy ingredients, cook dinner and set the table. He has also carefully wrapped Dean's present a very expensive and accurate miniature replica of Dean's Impala that had been quite difficult to find.

Cass finished and Dean was not home, he still had time to run into the shower and get onto some nice clothes.  
Dean was going to get surprised! Cass smiled happily.

30 minutes later worried he shot Dean a text : "Hi love, you coming home? Is everything allright?"

15 minutes later his phone chimed: "we got the account! Getting a beer with Benny and Aaron, i'll not be home too late" 

Cass frowned. Dean was not coming home for dinner. On the day of they 20th anniversary of their first date. He felt hurt. He should't have made all this out of it. After 20 years who cares about those anniversaries. Right?  
Ir was stupid, yeah Cass was stupid stupid. He cursed himself for being like that.  
He got to the livingroom and cleaned the table. Washed the dishes, put the food into tupperwares and froze it. It was almost midnight, he got ready for bed but before, he got the present and put it back into his closet. 

He got in bed alone, turn the light off and stared at the ceiling. He tries not to dwell into the sadness but he felt like he wanted to cry. He tossed and turned until he heard the impala in their garage. Dean was home. 

Dean got home and saw the Apple pie over the counter. Nice¡ home made? Wow! He had a slice and got ready for bed. Cass was already tucked in but Dean could tell he was still awake.

"Hey Cass"  
"Yes Dean?"  
"That pie was awesome, thanks. Did somebody from work made It? "  
"I did"  
"Oh wow, thanks! I know you don't Rally like Apple pie, so thanks"  
"Of course, goodnight Dean, I love you"  
"Goodnight, let's get some sleep Cass"

Dean turned to his side and that was it. Somehow it was an eye opener for Cass. When did they start to get to bed without a kiss? When was the last time Dean has told him he loved him?  
Cass felt the tears roll down his face. Silently He lulled himself to sleep.

 

Next morning hectic as always, they took turns AT the shower, Dean showered first letting Cass sleep bis "5 more minutes" and when Cass came down Dean had his coffee prepared for him just like he likes it. Dean was nice like that. A peck on the lips while stepping out the house and there we go. Another day in married life.


	2. What does love even mean anymore?

They have both been working Long hours, the Only thing Cass wanted was to come back home and jump into Dean's arms. He needed his comfort. Dean got home also tired, had a quick dinner and with a peck in the lips he headed to their home office to work more. Cass fell asleep alone every Night. Sad but he convinced himself this this was normal in a Long marriage like theirs.

Cass knew that Dean loved him. Dean cared about him, his job, he took care of 50% of the house tasks, always tried to get or make Cass's favorite meals and spoil him, he made him laugh.  
So yeah Cass knew his husband loved him and being honest he knew that After being together for such a Long time things loose passion. Sex was still amazing but scarce, Cass found himself hurt when Dean doesn't feel like it and turn down his advances.

Things escalated one Night when Cass was feeling specially frisky, he gets on sexy lacey underwear for sexy times and ups the game. They lay in bed and Cass licks and nibbles at Dean pulse-point. Kisses him passionately. They had quick fuck last night but tonight Cass is in the mood for making love. He made all the right moves, said the right things but Dean keeps typing in his phone while with a dismissive tone he said "wow you are in the mood again?" Cass freezes. It sounded like that was... was a chore for Dean.

He tries not to hurt. He kissed Dean in the cheek and turns to his side of the bed "goodnight Dean"  
"Night Cass"; said Dean while he kept trying. Like nothing had happened.

So...yes. Cass knows Dean loves him but it seems he is no longer in love with him. This breaks Cass inside. Maybe it is time to face the truth.

In the morning shower after stripping of the lacey underwear and drop it in the wash basket shamefully Cass finally breaks and cries.


	3. This is the end then?

Life continued as usual. Busy with work, not too much time for themselves. The tenure evaluation was close and that made Cass nervous. Dean was extraordinarily absorbed with work and at the phone with Benny all the time so he doesn't notice. Lately he doesn´t notice much outside from Work and Benny.  
Cass tries to be good to Dean, understanding. He plans Dean's birthday and organizes everything for a surprise visit of Sam. Dean will love to see Sam. And Cass loves to make Dean happy. 

The tenure committee reached a decision on a Tuesday and they rejected Cass's tenure application. It is unfair but according to their reasoning, Cass is too young to get tenured. They dismissed his application and he is vaguely encouraged to work hard and apply next year. He felt frustrated, it was unfair. He knew the guy that was being tenured, older than him bit a poorer curriculum bit with good connections. They were using his age against him. He has worked so hard ... but maybe he could have worked harder... he wants to talk to Dean.  
He calls him and it goes to voicemail.  
He called to his office phone "hello?" Answered Dean "Winchester's office" Thanks got thought Cass, he really needed Dean.  
"Hi Dean, I called your cell but it went to voice mail" started Cass... but was abruptly interrupted by Dean  
"Yeah I disconnected it because i was busy. What do you need?" Dean sounds distant, Benny is mumbling something annoyingly. Dean is busy.  
"Oh yeah you are busy. We will talk back home" said Cass cursing himself for bothering Dean.  
"Yeah ok. I will be home late" said Dean  
"Yeah yeah ... me too" Cass finished the call and buried his face in his hands. He was about to cry in his Office.  
He needed to get out. He needed a drink. So he goes for a beer to a bar and he ends up completely drunk. He gets a cab to go home. It is late when he fumbles with his keys at the door. The door suddenly opened and in front of him there was a very worried Dean. He was not drunk enough not to notice the change on his husband's face from worry to pure anger in a matter of a second.

"You are drunk" started Dean in utter disbelief " I called you a million Times Cass! I was dead worried and you are wasted!" He accused him  
"Dean I just..." Cass started but he wasn't sure about what to say, his phone´s battery had died long ago.  
"Yeah I see.. . What the fuck is wrong with you eh?. Go to bed Cass you smell like a fucking bar!" Dean said closing the door and moving away from him. Cass went to bed. When he woke up early in the morning with a terrible hangover. Dean hadn't slept with him, he saw the bed on the guess room undone. He deserved that one, he needed to get decent and apologize. Maybe they could talk about all tha had been happening between them, fix things?  
He went downstairs to apologize to Dean and explain. But while going downstais he picked up the conversation Dean was having on the phone with somebody.

"Well I don't know but he has been acting a little weird lately... well I don't know" Dean paced around the Kitchen annoyed" I Spent the night in the guest bedroom. Yeah I know Sam I know I promised in my bows to never to go to bed angry but fuck! he showed Drunk on a fucking Tuesday Night! Smelling like a biker's bar ... He reminded me of dad Sam" Dean Turned around but still hadn't seen Cass "I thought he was different, responsible but yesterday it felt Like I married the the same kind of Man mom did..." The Words hadn't left his lips and he was already regretting them. They were not fair and as he had started to hear Sam angrily protesting Dean also heard a muffled cry. He looked up and saw him. Cass was there at the base of the stairs his hand covered his mouth and his face was full of tears. Dean gasped and hanged the phone.

"Cass... " he started to say looking for an apology but Cass run up the stairs away from him. He heard a door slamming. Fuck now he crossed the line big time.

Dean sat at the couch and waited for Cass to calm down. When after 30 minutes he heard his husband move downstairs again we was ready for a full apology. But instead he frowned.  
Cass was carrying an overnight bag.

"Cass.. What... where?" Started Dean but he was at loss of words.  
" I am visiting my brother for a couple of days to... think" said Cass trying not to look Dean in the eye.  
"Listen babe I am sorry for what I said.. . I.." Dean started but Cass lifted a hand to make him stop.  
"I deserved it ..." Cass looked at him finally and left the house. Dean was silent. Frozen for a moment. He had seen something in Castiel's eyes.  
He saw pure pain and that freaked him out. He moved towards the car fast now, he caught up with Cass and carried his bag. Helped Cass put the bag in the trunk and stopped his husband for a moment.  
"Text me once you her there so I know you arrived, alright?" asked Dean while kissing Cass a little peck on the limps. Cass looked at him and frowned.  
"Yeah, I will" he hoped into the car and drove away.

Two hours later he knocked on Gabe´s door. When Gave saw him, middle of the day on a Wednesday he frowned "Not that I am not happy to see you but... what are you doing here? Did Dean kick you out finally?" He joked and suddenly his brother broke down in tears. "Fuck Cass, is everything alright? What happened?" he wondered nervously.  
"Can I stay here for a couple of days? I think I am leaving Dean" Cass said and Gabriel freaked.  
"Damm my mouth and my stupid jokes. Sorry Cass, of course you can stay, you can stay as long as you need to fix this, alright?" said Gabriel... fuck there was no way Cass and Dean couldn´t fix their marriage right?


	4. Two sides of the same coin

And just like that, Dean was alone at home. Cass had texted letting him know he was at Gabe´s. He for the first time in a long time felt at loss. Something was terribly wrong and he didn´t understand much. Sure Cass had been stressed with the tenure evaluation and Dean had been stressed with the new project that might propel Dean´s career. So yes, they have been both under terrible stress but they loved each other, their marriage was solid right? Dean couldn´t even imagine his life without Cass, he had been the love of his life. His first kiss, his first boyfriend, the only person he had ever had sex with... Cass was his everything. He truly loved him.  
He felt a little useless so he decided to use his time to work. He couldn´t concentrate and it was lunchtime. He decided to dig around the freezer to see if he could find some frozen burritos. When he opened the fridge he felt like he had hit the jackpot! His favorite food, home made meatballs!!!! Cass´s recipe! Oh man.  
"When did you had the time to make this eh Cass" Dean asked himself. He got a Tupperware out of the fridge and took the frosted lid off and the Tupper into the microwave. Ummm his mouth was watering.  
The bit of the microwave made him excited. He ate them all happily. He needed to thank Cass for making this. He still wondered when did he had the time. Once finished he was going to place the dished and Tupperware in the dishwasher when he saw that Cass had written down the date of freezing in the Tupper lid.   
"Damm scientist and their weird things! 20-09-17" and suddenly Dean froze. No! "Oh god! no... cannot be?!" Dean had realized that Cass had cooked his favorite food on the date of their first date, the 20th anniversary of their fist date... he took his phone out of the pocked and checked the messages.   
"We got the project. Getting a beer with Benny and Aaron to celebrate. I won´t be too late" he sat down looking at the Tupperware lid. Cass had gotten out early, cooked his meal and waited for him. Only Dean was out with friends drinking... and he remembered coming back home actually quite late, and Cass was already in bed.   
He thought of Cass putting the food in containers and freezing it... it broke Dean´s heart. "What have I done..." he thought about calling Cass to apologize but he worried he would only piss Cass more.

He called Sam. Call wen´t to voicemail.   
Dean curled in the couch silent, thinking about how could he had been so distracted, he had his head up his own ass and he had forgotten about his husband. No wonder Cass had been weird this last months... Dean´s didn´t sleep much with the remorse. The next day disappointed in himself and tired from the lack of sleep, he called in sick for the first time in years. Benny was not very happy about it.

He used the day to clean around the house. He did laundry and when he was at it he found Cass´s lace underwear, oh man he loved those... but wait, he had regularly done the laundry so this even at the very bottom of the basket was from last week? When did Cass used this? ... Dean sat in the border of the bathtub and tried to remember what had Cass on the last time they had sex... the last time they had been together had been a quick fuck in the bathroom. And then Boom! Like a thunder Dean realized two things: one who could it be possible that they hadn´t had sex int he last 10 days? and second... that night that Cass had gotten all romantic and mellow... was he wearing the panties Dean loved that much and Dean hadn´t even bothered to pay attention because... because he was busy texting Benny with updates for the project. Dean felt a knot in his stomach.  
The doorbell ringed. Dean collected himself and opened the door. It was Gabriel.  
"Gabe! Is Cass with you?" asked Dean hopeful. Gabriel´s face went serious.  
"No Dean, he is not here, he sent me thought" said Gabe  
"Oh. C´mon in" said Dean opening the door for his brother in law  
"He asked me to get some more clothes and his laptop" Gabe said sadly  
"He is not coming back..." whispered Dean realizing that his marriage was more damaged than he had realized.  
"I don´t think so no" Gabe answered.  
"I understand" Dean sat down on the couch while Gabe did his thing. He tried to hold the tears but they stupidly kept coming back to his eyes.  
"I have finished Dean... I guess that if he needs more stuff he would let you know" Said Gabe, he dropped the jim bag and laptop over the table and approached his brother in law "Are you going to be alright?" Gabe saw Dean´s tears roll down his face.  
"No, I don´t think so" Dean whispered "Do you think I can fix this?" he wondered looking at Gabe. His face was sad and concerned but he didn´t seem to be angry with him.  
"Cass loves you Dean. Do you want to fix this?" he asked  
"I do" Dean was being honest.  
"Then don´t give up. Show Cass you still care. If you need anything you can always call me" said Gabe leaving the house.

After a whole afternoon crying and moping around the house. Dean had been realizing how many nights Cass had gone to bed alone, how many times he had been too busy for sex or a movies and a lazy make-out session, how many times he had skipped the question about if he was going to be working all day on his birthday... damm He called Sam again.

"Hey Dean" Sam answered happily "How are you?"  
"Sam, answer me straight please" he was serious "Did Cass plan something for my birthday?" Dean felt the silence on the line as confirmation  
"I am not supposed to say Dean... are you ok? You sound weird.." his brother asked  
"What did he planned Sam?" Dean said dryly  
"He bought me a plane ticket so I could go so give you surprise and spend the weekend over there" Sam said "I am looking forward to see you both, please don´t tell Cass I told you, please" Sam begged and Dean cursed. Again he was crying. "Dean? You are worrying me Dean"  
"Cass is gone Sam, he left me" said Dean and Sam freaked at the other side of the line "I have been the worst husband... I ... he doesn´t deserve this shit..."

Dean told Sam everything. Sam tried to calm him down and encouraged him to fix things. He clearly loved Cass a lot, it was worth it. Cass was the love of his life.  
After calming down and thanking his brother he called Benny and asked for another day. Benny was outraged and demanded explanations. Dean didn´t give any, he reminded Benny how many years he had been working hard for the company and the few sick days he had ever called in. He needed this. Benny agreed saying that he wanted him on Monday ready to catch up of the delayed work.  
Dean hanged angrily. Fuck Benny and that stupid brain absorbing job.

He went into their bedroom, he missed Cass. He roamed in his closed got his sweatshirt and put it on. It smelled like Cass and made him feel better. He saw that Cass´s fuzzy socks were still there, Gabe might have missed them, Cass always wore them to bed he had always said he couldn´t fall asleep without them. Dean got them and considered calling Cass. But suddenly he say a card on the floor.

"To Dean" it said on the envelope. Dean´s heart froze. He opened it.

"To my dearest love, Happy 2oth anniversary of our first date. I know this is not the real deal but it will be the closest thing to get you baby parked inside the house. I love you" Dean´s heart melted and then he remembered that Cass had done all that and he was out drinking with his friends. He felt a wave of self-hate. He saw the present and he knew he shouldn´t open it but... he did anyway and stared at the beautiful and meaningful present his husband had gotten him. A very real miniature replica of his Chevrolet Impala. He cried.

"I am sorry" he texted to Cass. No answer came back.  
He took the fuzzy socks and jumped in the car. Two hours later he was at Gabe´s porch. He left them for Cass on a little bag with a note "I realize that you probably don´t want to see me or hear me out, I got you this because I know you cannot sleep without them. I am sorry"


	5. I never meant to hurt you so much...

"Thanks for the socks, it was very thoughtful of you" texted Cass later  
"How are you Cass? I Miss you" Dean texted back immediately

The phone vibrated with a call, Dean hopeful thought it was Cass. The caller Id said it was Benny. He felt a horrible knot on his stomach and a wave of disappointment.  
"What do you need Benny?"  
" Hi Dean I just wanted to let you know that we need you to go to London with me for 4 days next week. Leaving Tuesday morning" Benny said  
"What?" Dean frowned "I can' t go to Europe next week, I have a situation that I need to deal with here, I told you that i needed some time to fix a personal matter, some kind of family leave" Dean was very annoyed  
"Family leave is for parents Dean ... listen I don't know what the fuck is the problem you have, but whatever it is, it will be here once you come back from London" Benny said coldly.  
"No this cannot wait. Taking care of this is my Top priority, sorry but I can´t go with you" said Dean, telling Benny no for the first time in two years felt scary as hell but great.  
"You don't get this Dean. If You cannot come to Europe them I will be forced to let you go and hire somebody else" said Benny with a obviously fake worry voice " I will hate to do that Dean..."  
"Do whatever you need to do" Dean terminated the call. Fuck did he just ... got himself fired? So it seems. Dean was surprised he didn´t care as much... the only thing he needed was Cass in his life. He didn´t need that stupid high end career job... he only took that up for Cass...

"Can I stop by? Maybe we can get a cup of coffee together...? Please Cass" Dean texted his husband with zero hope.  
"Alright. When?" Cass answered almost immediately. Dean cheered because damm Cass had answered  
"I can drive over right now" said Dean nervous... would that be too much?  
"Should't you be at work? Asked Cass  
"I haven't been at work since tuesday" he texted  
"Come over" Cass agreed. Dean hated texting because the lack of tone and backgrownd in the conversation. Was Cass relieved he texted? maybe annoyed?  
"On my way" Dean replied while he smiled relieved, he would have to see how Cass is... in person. 

He was getting out of the house when he saw a woman by the front door, It was Cass´s workfriend Meg Masters.  
"Hi Meg... ah Cass is not home" said Dean without giving explanations.  
"Oh. I tried to call him and he doesn't answers calls or emails. I am worried after what happened, he must be really angry. I just wanted to tell him in person that many of his colleagues have gathered and protested the tenure decision. There would be a review. I am guessing the University will assign external reviewers to redo it, i am sure Cass will get the tenure this time around. This selection process had been very irregular" Meg kept talking but Dean was not listening anymore. Cass didn' t get the tenure? When had this happened... but he already knew the answer deep down.  
"Meg I really need to go, I will let him know, thanks for stopping by " said Dean rushing out.  
"Oh is he really ok?" Meg asked frowning.  
"He will be, I will Make sure of it and Meg, thanks for having Cass´s back and worrying for him" Dean jumped in the Impala and Drove to Gabe's but made a little pit stop to busy Cass's favorite flowers and Googled the department web page. Yeah his intuition has told him right, the decision of tenure was reached on Tuesday morning. That day Cass had tried to call him several times on his cell and even at work. He obviously needed to talk but Dean had been too busy to play attention to the signs and Cass didn't want to brother him. Fuck Dean had been annoyed that Cass had interrupted him at work... Benny was being suck a dick for the calls...  
So no wonder Cass had gone out to drink by himself. He shows then home drunk and Dean had lost his mind. Perfect, he is an asshole husband.

Two hours later he arrives at Gabe's and knocks at the door. He is so nervous he is almost shaking. Gabe Opened the door a let Dean in while stepping out himself. "He is giving you a change to talk don't screw it Dean" said Gabe on a whisper before Cass was there.

"Hello Dean" said Cass. He looked tired, bag under his eyes, pale face...  
"Hi Cass. I brought you this" Dean shows him the tulips hopeful that this cheered Cass a little.  
"My favorites! It has been such a Long time" Dean smiles with Cass's reaction at first but the 'it has been such a Long time' deflated him and his initial smile faded. Yeah he Couldn't even remember the last time he has gotten him flowers.  
"It was not... I didn't mean to ... I didn´t mean anything by that...thanks for the flowers. I love them" Cass said realizing that the first sentence he had said to his husband in almost 4 days had sounded like reprove.  
"Can I sit please?" asked Dean feeling down.  
"Sure" they sat in the couch, side by side but leaving a wide separation between them. Dean said to speak shyly: "I know it is not a good excuse for my behavior, but I honestly didn't realize how much I was hurting you Cass" said Dean trying to hold his facade "I am sorry.. . I never wanted to disappoint you like this" 

"I don't know what to say" answered Cass not expecting that admission from Dean.  
"Let me say it then... I understand you want out of our marriage and honestly i deserve it. I have slacked in our relationship ... I guess I never realized how much until I saw you leave" Dean swallowed the tears that were coming to the surface. Cass' eyes were wet but he stayed silent. 

"I ate the meatballs you prepared on our anniversary ... I realized that I had completely forgotten. When I realized the date you cooked them... cause you always write the freezing date on the tupperware lid ... and then I imagined all the work you did to surprise me.... to celebrate it together... and I didn't even remember the date but on top of that I was out drinking with Benny... I imagined how much you had hurt and that thoughtful present you bought ...it was perfect" Dean was trying to sounds coherent but he was overwhelmed. He took a deep breath and kept quiet for a moment.

"I started to think about stuff.... I realized I don't remember the last time I told you that I love you. I can barely recollect the last time we took the time to make love... like we used to" Dean Couldn't hold the tears anymore, he felt weak for not being able to apologize without crying but he was loosing Cass... how could he face that... " I .. have been a horrible husband for a long time... but this Tuesday...when I wasn't there for you, you needed me and I made you feel like you were a bother... like I didn´t have time for you... You ended up drowning your pain in alcohol and I... instead of worrying about the cause I only thought about myself " Dean stopped to collect himself and dry his face.

"I was going to apologize for behaving like that in the morning but what you said to Sam really hurt me" whispered Cass making Dean look at him "It was the last drop..." Cass´s eyes were closed, his face wet with tears. Dean hated himself because he had done all that to his husband.  
" I regretted it the second it left my mouth. But you know what. I was right in a way" Said Dean making Cass flinch and open his eyes, Dean continued "somebody was indeed behaving like my dad, like a horrible husband and bad person, but it was me not you Cass" blurted Dean and finally let all the pain out.  
"Dean...that´s not..." Cass was trying to get through to him but Dean was at the verge of a panic attract. He was shaking and he was breathing with difficulty. Cass got close and held him in his arms, he felt Dean melt in the embrace and relax into Cass's touch. The shaking and and the sobbing diminished slowly and Dean managed to collect himself a little.  
" I don't deserve you, but I do love you Cass, fuck I love you so much... I am only asking you to reconsider. Please give me a second chance" asked Dean holding on to him.


	6. You are my priority

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry people I wrote most of this story while I was in the hospital, on my phone. I know there are typos and misspelled stuff. It will be betaed ASAP. Thanks for following the story despite the issues. It was nice to write this to occupy my time there and it was even nicer to know people was reading it.

Dean looks up at Cass he is still nested in his arms. Cass was undoubtedly thinking about what Dean had said and Dean could recognize when his husband was thinking too hard.  
"Don't give me an answer right now, please... I just want to enjoy your Company today. Oh! Meg came over today she was worried about you, you should call her, she said that the University is investigating the tenure decision due to irregularities. I knew that Damon guy didn' t win clean, you have way better cv and merits despite being younger" said Dean  
"An internal investigation?" Asked Cass in wonder  
"Yeah she said something about the University pointing new independent tenure Committee members" said Dean  
"It felt so bad... I felt a failure..it was humiliating how they dismissed my application. I felt a fraud" said Cass really upset  
" Hey you are not such thing, Cass you are hard working, devoted and fucking brilliant. You deserved tenure" said Dean realizing how much he had failed his husband when he was not there for him.

Cass hugged Dean tight and burrowed his face on his neck "thank you Dean I needed to hear this."  
"I am really proud of you, you should know that" said Dean hugging Cass with his arms and trying to help him realize he was being honest  
"I missed this" said Cass with relief in his voice  
"Yeah Me too" Dean agreed "Cass, would you go out on a date with me? Maybe go to the movies?" Dean asked and Cass looked at him wondering if he had heard Dean right  
"Are you serious? are you asking me out on a date?" Asked Cass quite surprised  
""Dead serious" said Dean "C´mon Cass go out with me?"  
"Alright. I will give us a second chance, I will go out with you but..." Cass doubted and dropped his eyes away from Dean.  
"Tell me, whatever it is you can tell me.." said Dean holding his hand and encouraging him to look back into his eyes.  
"I am not.. not ready to go back home" said Cass afraid that Dean wouldn' t understand. Sometimes he couldn´t understand himself.  
"Alright I think I understand" Dean said surprising Cass.  
"Thanks" said Cass relieved squeezing Dean´s hand back.  
"Whatever you need Cass. Are you hungry?" Cass nodded enthusiastically. Of course he was hungry, starving in fact. He had barely anything to eat since he had left Dean on Wednesday.  
"We can go grab a bite then we can see what's on in the cinemas today ?" Proposed Dean lovingly and Cass melted inside.  
"Sounds like a plan" said Cass with a beautiful smile. Dean smiled back and felt the urge to kiss his husband but he didnt want to scare him . Cass has given him a chance. There was hope.

They went out to a nice burger place for dinner, stopped by a café next to the Cinema and got hot chocolate while discussing about the movies. The went in to see Star wars, Dean held his hand during the movie and all the way home. Cass was so happy this ... this was everything he wanted, he wanted his Dean back. He was also afraid to go back home and for everything to go back to how it was.  
Cass knew one thing for sure, he didn't want the night to be over so once Dean and him arrived to Gabe's Cass invited him in for a last cup of coffee.  
He made the coffee and the both sat on the couch and kept talking and talking like they had been a World away from each other. When they checked the time it was 2 a.m.

"Oh wow it is quite late" said Cass "no way I am letting you Drive back this late"  
"Don't worry about it, I am good to drive" said Dean "Can I see you tomorrow?, maybe we can go for lunch at the lake?"  
"How about work?" Asked Cass wondering about how could Dean afford all this time to spend with him...  
"No work for some days" said Dean without further explanation  
"Well that makes it even more clear, no way you drive two hours back home only to drive back here in the morning. You are staying " Cass stop up from the couch and offered Dean a Hand. He took it and both walked towards the bedroom. Dean was a little nervous. Cass was really letting him stay with him?  
"Cass I don't Wanda be a bother.. ." Said Dean hesitant  
"Shut up Dean and get ready for bed, I have some underwear for you" Cass said getting into the bedroom. They got ready for bed like nothing had ever happened and they hop on it together.  
"Cass can I kiss you goodnight?" Asked Dean on a whisper.  
"Yes please?" Cass was beaming with excitement.

Dean scooted closer and kissed Cass softly enveloping him with his arms. Cass kissed back very enthusiastically and hid in his embrace with a sigh. "Today was perfect. Can you please hold me Dean?"  
Dean held him and softly kissed his lips again "Good night Cass I love you"  
"I love you too" said Cass unable to hold the tears as soon as they turned off the light. Dean embraced him and reassured him that everything was going to be alright.  
They fell asleep entangled together. Happy but afraid.

When morning came, Cass opened his eyes and realized Dean was not in bed with him. Well this was typical, he was probably working. He stood there, under the blankets. He should not expect Dean to shift his whole focus towards him, he had a job, a very demanding job but... they had been feeling so good together, Dean had been so wonderful, Cass was so afraid this was just a fluke and that his marriage was indeed doomed. He felt a knot on the stomach.  
"You have that frown... you are thinking hard again" said Dean from the door. Cass held himself on his elbows to look for Dean and saw him coming into the room with a tray full of breakfast "I made this for us"  
"You? Made us breakfast?" Asked Cass in disbelief, Dean nodded. "Breakfast in Bed?" he asked again and Dean nodded "You haven´t ... for a long time..."  
"I know, and it was nice to break that trend" said Dean smiling to Cass.  
"What did you made?" asked Cass now obviously happy  
"Your favorites: blueberry pancakes, orange juice and black coffee with a teaspoon of honey" said Dean. Cass looked at him with shinny eyes "Cass baby?" Asked Dean wondering why Cass was sad  
"You remember that?" asked Cass in wonder.  
"Of course babe" Dean sat in the bead crossing his legs and put the tray between them. And just like that Cass picked up his coffee and squeezed Dean´s hand.  
"I love you Dean" said Cass  
"I love you back" said Dean stealing a little kiss from his husband and smiling content.


	7. Secret intentions and stupid missconceptions

There was a knock on the front door, Cass went over to open. Aaron Bass from Dean´s office was there.  
"Castiel? Hello, I am Aaron, i don´t know if you remember me" he said seriously  
"Yes, of course..." Cass was about to say something else but Aaron cut him abruptly  
"I am here to tell you that Dean has been cheating on you. I am sorry to be this blunt but he and our boss Benny have been having an affair in the office"  
"What?" Cass was surprised, he knew that was not possible. Dean would have never.  
"I am sorry about your marriage but you shouldn´t be giving him the time of the day, he is a cheater. I am sorry Cass, this is for your own good" Aaron turned around and left leaving Cass amazed. He closed the door and turned around to see Dean pale like a ghost.  
Cass looked at him and was about to say something when Dean moved back towards the kitchen a looked for a chair, he really felt like he was going to faint  
“Dean …” Cass ran to check on him  
“I just needed to sit … what the fuck just happened? I can´t believe this… Cass sit down here and be silent please”. Dean took the pone out of his pocket and dialed Benny.  
“Hey hello Dean” said Benny “How is the family time you needed so bad”  
“Well it was very fruitful Benny, a real eye opener” said Dean controlling how angry he was “I had been blind about my priorities and I obviously needed to set the record straight” Dean put his hand over Castiel´s and Cass smiled back. “You see, I was so floored with work, my only free time was with you guys. I started to consider you good Friends. I thought if I worked hard on the account you will consider keeping me in the Company in a long term basis” Said Dean  
“Of course you are a very valuable asset for me Dean. Is everything alright?” said Benny  
“I thought that you were going to fire me if I didn´t agree to go to Europe with you this week” said Dean making Cass look up surprised “you sounded quite threatening last week”  
“You are way to important to fire you over this, you are important to me… to the company. I know you and Castiel are having problems, I told you several times that your husband was not up to the task, he is very unreasonable, jealous even. I am sorry your marriage is over but you did good taking time to get over that and disconnect” his concern sounded so fake.  
“What do you even know about my marriage?” wondered Dean “you know nothing about me and Cass”  
“Oh c´mon Dean… are you kidding me now? I wondered how the hell you two fit together, this was bound to happen” Dean frowned angrily but kept listening “Dean, you can do much better, maybe you can find a better person, maybe closer than you realize” Dean moved his head in denial and exploded.  
“I quit Benny, don´t call me again, I don´t want to see you or hear from you ever. You can keep this month pay. I quit effect immediate” said Dean “I think you have been using me to get the difficult job done while you were living the corporate life but on top of that I considered you almost a friend and you have used our work relationship to screw with my marriage… I have been an idiot to fall into that old trick. But not anymore, now I see you for what you really are. Bye Benny” Dean terminated the call and hid his face in his hands.  
“Dean?” Cass asked worried  
“I hope you know that what Aaron had said was not true. I would never…” Cass silenced him with a Kiss “I know Dean”  
“I had my priorities all mixed up, I apologize for being so stupid and thanks for letting me see how horrible I had been” said Dean, he was obviously sad  
“Hey, I am sorry that you had lost your job!” said Cass “The rest we are already figuring it out, right?” Cass hugged him.  
“The funny thing is... I hated that job” said Dean  
“You did? Then why did you…” Cass was utterly confused  
“Well… this is going to sound stupid but… you are a university professor, you give talks all around the world … I just wanted to be good enough so you would have a successful husband to introduce to your colleagues … instead of just a pitiful hands-on mechanic” Dean confessed blushing hard.  
“Dean… oh god! this is the stupidest thing I have ever seen you do!. I love you, and being a mechanic used to make you real happy… I can´t believe you gave that up for… jezz did I ever do anything to make you think I had a problem with your profession? It had never been my intention!. I just want you to be happy, so we can be happy together” said Cass  
“Well I think I should do something more than work on Cars but… I really enjoy the building and designing hands on. I hated the office work…maybe i can find something halfway” said Dean  
“Well, you don´t have to worry about that anymore, or about Benny or Aaron. Now you can think about what you want and start pursuing your dreams, real ones”  
“You are all I dream about. The minute Benny told me I had to chose between taking time off to fix my mistakes or my job… that made me realize what my top one priority was, you. Well I thought I was already fired… two days ago and I didn´t care” Dean looked into Cass´s eyes “I have been a complete idiot Cass, putting everything before you … because I was blind and I took you for granted. I know that I made big mistakes but I am willing to make up for them. Honest” Said Dean  
“Oh Dean… I love you so much! I am to blame here as much as you… I should have said something… I should have told you how I had been feeling… damm” Cass had just realized that had all his insecurities get the worst out of him “I felt hurt and I let all my worries… my darkest insecurities take over… I started to think that you were falling out of love, because well who would like to live with somebody like me, I am just a regular guy. Somehow you fell in love with me… if still feels like I won the lottery babe… and… I told myself that… of course it wasn´t going to last you would eventually realize I was not good enough” Cass confessed  
“Fuck Cass… how could you think like that. You are the love of my life, the only person in my heart, the only person I crave intimacy with. I know that after 20 years going out together the flame is not like it used to be. I guess it is normal in a long relationship like ours, it is not pressure and flames… like in our 20´s, now my love for you is deeper, softer, I still desire you like the first day but there is no pressure, no expectations to fulfill… only my desire to share myself with you, only my desire to give you pleasure, I love to see how we can be ourselves around each other, Fluffy pajamas and crazy bed hair, morning breath and snoring. All of it.” Dean said and to Cass the was the biggest love declaration of all times.  
“I feel the same Dean. Thanks for fighting for us” Cass said honestly and Dean enveloped him in his arms “Always” he whispered.


	8. Came home babe

Dean kissed Cass wholeheartedly, and Cass followed him blindly. His kisses were heated and demanding. Dean brought his husband´s body as close to his as possible, he was feverish and thirsty for his lips. Cass moaned moving over to straddle Dean on the couch and their erections brushed thought the fabric they moaned into each other´s mouth. It was heating up pretty fast when they heard the front door open. Gabe saw them making out wildly on his couch.  
“I honestly hope you both have your pants on… otherwise I am burning that couch” said Gabe but he was smiling, happy.  
“Sorry Gabe. Clothes are on, promise” said Dean while Cass only blushed and hid his face on his neck.  
“Well it seems that you two talked it over… are you good?” asked Gabe relieved  
“Yeah we did and we are” Said Cass giving Dean a peck on the lips “We have been talking a lot…like we should have done always” said Cass  
“I am not taking him for granted ever again and in exchange he will let me know his true feelings about things. No more hiding or suffering in silence” Dean said looking at Cass and he nodded in agreement.  
“Dean… I am ready to go home” said Cass and that made Dean break the brightest and widest smile he had seen on his husband´s face in a long time.  
“Yeah let´s go home” said Dean  
“Thanks god I feel relieved” Dean and Cass looked at him wondering if they had been a bother “No like I Don´t like you over Cass, but I have always wanted a partner in life like you … like Dean and you are for each other. When you came to my door and said you were leaving Dean… well my hopes of finding true love, that lasts were kind of shuttered… you guys are like my example of how a couple should be… if you break up then… well you get my point” said Gabe a little bit embarrassed  
“You will find it, You are a wonderful person Gabe” said Cass giving him a hug “and thanks for letting me crash and mope here for almost a week” said Cass  
“Anytime you need me, I am here babybro” Gabe said to Cass and turned to Dean “Stop being an ass or I will have to punch you in the face. Now fuck off both of you” said Gabe goofing around.

Ten minutes later they had picked up all Cass´s things and were loading the trunk on the impala. They drove home in silence, Cass´s hand was on Dean´s tight as he drove back home happily. As if nothing had happened, Cass picked up the mail by the door and walked into the house while reading the envelopes. One was addressed from the University. He opened it and when Dean came in through the garage door he showed it to him.  
“Well another hearing, that is a good thing right?” asked Dean  
“Yeah … yeah it is. In two days… I will add a couple of things to the old one and I will do it all over” said Cass “But now, no more work, now I want to kiss you babe” Cass surrounded Dean with his arms and leaned it for a nice kiss. Dean took Cass´s jacket off and his followed immediately. He felt a chill, the house was cold.  
“Let´s move this upstairs, it is quite cold here, I have to turn the heating on” said Cass  
“Ummm” agreed Dean murmuring but without separating his lips from Castiel´s “Take me to bed babe” he whispered and Cass dragged him upstairs to their bed. Pushing Dean on the mattress and moving on to straddle him, Cass realized they were both wearing jeans and that were uncomfortable for this. He unbuttoned his trousers and also Deans moving away only enough to pushed them away, now in their t-shirts and underwear they jumped under the blankets and resumed the making out, they rooted against each other while kissing and caressing their bodies. Cass felt a finger prodding at his hole and re-positioned himself to allow Dean access. At the same time, he got Dean´s dick out of his underwear and into his mouth making Dean moan, soon they were sixty nining and pleasuring each other.  
“Dean I am close… please make love to me?” asked Cass. He really didn´t want to come unless he had Dean seated deep inside him tonight.  
“Yeah babe, I am dying to be inside you” Dean got more lube and seated himself between Cass´s legs, lining up his length with Cass´s hole and pushing in. He felt the slight resistance and then Cass´s body opening up to welcome him in. The warmth, the pressure and the beautiful sounds was making underneath him was like a dream. He had almost screwed his marriage, his love with Cass. The best thing that had ever happened to him. It had taken almost losing it to realize how dam important that was to him.  
“I love you babe” said Dean while making love to his husband lost in sensation “Welcome home”

Two days later, the tenure hearing took place, they both presented again. This Time Cass was more serene. Dean was waiting for him outside with some of his friends. He aced the presentation and got out of the meeting happy with his job. "How did it go?" asked Dean "I did my best, now let´s hope they are at least fair with their judgement and whatever happens I will understand it" said Dean hugging Cass "You are amazing babe, At least this is your fair chance" said his husband kissing his cheek "That is all I wanted" said Cass.  
They left and headed out to have lunch with some of Castiel´s colleagues.  
"I would like to make a toast" said his friends Charlie and Meg "I would like to let you all know how proud I am that we all saw an injustice being made and we all gathered and decided to speak up instead of folding to connections and power games. To us, because we did the right thing"  
"Thank you" said Cass.

Two days later, the decision was communicated to the applicants, Dr. Castiel Winchester had achieved Tenure. Dean and Cass celebrated the day together. Cass knew he was a very lucky man.


	9. Value what you have

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ending of the story today. Thanks for reading.  
> I love happy endings. Life should have many of those.

Cass had been granted tenure and Dean had fixed his errors with Cass. Cass had promised not to let those old fears come back to the surface and if they were to happen, he would let Dean know and they will work on it together. Dean realized that what he really wanted to do is be a mechanic, but not just a mechanic, he wanted to do car restoration and craftsmanship so he pitched the idea to the back and got a loan to open his own business. The months rolled around and Dean´s birthday arrived. He knew Sam was coming and he was overly excited. Cass wasn´t supposed to know but of course he knew…  
“For the birthday boy breakfast feast!” said Cass letting Dean see the food he had prepared for them in the morning.  
“Oh man… a man after my own heart” said Dean curling up to his husband´s back and kissing his neck and earlobe suggestively.  
“Dean… food first or it will get cold and I have been cooking since 8…” said Cass showing him the bacon.  
“Ummmm bacon” Dean sat down and made Cass laugh  
“Yeah Bacon will get you to do anything…” mumbled Cass still amused. There was a knock on the door and Cass smiled knowingly. Dean only hoped that could be his bday present? “C´mon I know that you know that is for you…” said Cass  
“I love you babe” Dean kissed him and ran to the door. He opened and a a cheerful “Sammy!!!” could be heard all over the neighborhood.  
“Happy birthday Dean!” Said Sam letting his suitcase by the stairs  
“Hi Sam, come to the kitchen I was serving breakfast and I made some for you as well” Cass hugged his brother in law  
“So glad to see you in person Sammy… dam stupid Skype… not the same!” said Dean still holding his brother´s shoulder. They shared stories and ate breakfast until Cass announce he had to go to work, short day but he was letting Dean in good company.  
“Enjoy your present babe” Said Cass kissing him at the door. Dean came back smiling and sat back at the kitchen counter watching Sam do the dishes.  
“So I was thinking if you want I could show you the garage and the ideas that I have…” said Dean happily  
“Yeah I would love to see it, It is very nice that you will finally have your own business” said Sam “Well I see that you and Cass have fixed things… is he alright? And Are you?” He seemed genuinely worried  
“Yeah Sam. No need to worry, I… realized how much of an asshole I had been and… you know with Cass´s family background he started to fear I was not in love with him anymore… the more he tried to make me happy, the more I disappointed him and… you know… the worst thing is not realizing how badly you have been treating someone you love until it is too late…” Dean said sadly  
“But it wasn´t too late…” said Sam  
“Yeah, fortunately. Because Cass is a wonderful person and gave me a second chance” said Dean  
“Nah man, because Cass loves you very much and he was just waiting for you to realize that you loved him just as much…” Sam said “I have some news for you … “ said Sam mysteriously  
“some news…?” asked Dean “Shoot man, don´t let me start fearing crazy shit..”  
“I am moving here. In three months I am moving here” said Sam and that made Dean jump from the counter to hug him “You are crushing me Dean!”  
“Sorry is just that…. God Sammy this is fantastic…. You have no idea how much I have missed you man…” said Dean beaming  
“Yeah, I know because I missed you just as much. I want to be close, so I have been working my ass off climbing up the corporate ladder and I applied for a relocation, effective in 3 months” Sam smiled and Dean crushed him on a hug again.

That night, Dean laid in bed by Cass´s side, wondering if he could be more lucky. He knew that life had ups and downs... he had apparently survived a time where his job was absorbing his life, where he was taking his husband for granted and not paying attention to his feelings, his brother was far and he luckily saw him once a year ... lots of stresses can make everything else foggy and somehow you forget what is important in your life. Dean was grateful that Cass had made him realize he had been lost, distracted by expectations and lies. He had been lying to himself and everyone else about what he wanted from life. But now, he had his priorities straight, his marriage was healthy and he was planning of keeping it that way and he make himself promise, he would never ruin such a wonderful thing he had going with Cass. He also valued the fact that he was for the first time ever, going to have all his family close by.  
So yeah, he valued what he had. Now more than ever.  
Dean curled towards his husband in bed and let his warmth lulled him into sleep. He was happy.


End file.
